TF2SwapShop.com
Not Game Related => Comedy Central => Topic started by: Psy on July 18, 2016, 07:30:23 PM
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Team Fortress 2
Scout
>When you can shove people with the Shortstop but can't push away your problems.
>When life hits you like a meatshot from a scattergun.
>When you can bash your enemies but not your problems.
>When you can outrun your enemies but not your problems.
Soldier
>When you have to hurt others just to heal yourself. (Blackbox)
Pyro
>When you can't be happy like the pyro.
Demoman
>When you don't have depth perception so you can't see a future for yourself.
Heavy
>When the only thing you can do is eat away the pain.
>When eating is the only way to heal yourself.
>When you're strong enough to lift a minigun but not enough to handle life.
Engineer
>When you can destroy buildings but can't get rid of your problems.
>When you can wrangle your sentry but not your life.
Medic
>When you can save others but not yourself.
>When you can revive others but not yourself.
>When your medigun lets you match the speed of any class but you're still not fast enough for life.
Sniper
>When you can headshot your enemies but not your problems.
Spy
>When people like the person you're disguised as more than they like you.
>When you can disguise yourself but not your feelings.
General
>When an Australium weapon looks brighter than your future.
>When you can die and respawn in tf2 but can't respawn in real life to try again.
>When you can get a killstreak on your enemies but not your problems.
>When you can level up a strange but not your life status.
>When it's easier to search for servers than it is to search for friends.
>When you can pick up a weapon but not a girl.
>When you can get a Burning Team Captain but not a Burning My Problems.
>When you can buy cosmetics but not happiness.
>When your character is better looking than you.
>When you can't get random crits but get hit with emotional crits.
>When you can be a tryhard in-game but can never try hard enough in life.
>When a Golden Frying pan is more affordable than your happiness.
Micspammers
>When you have the balls to yell into your mic but can't even talk loud enough in real life.
Admin
>When you're an admin on 60 servers but haven't accomplished anything in life.
Borderlands
>When happiness is rarer than any rare gun.
Left 4 Dead
>When you can charge your enemies off of buildings but you can't do the same with your problems.
Portal
>When you can portal to the moon but still can't escape your problems.
Life
>When you've been finding all these pokemon but still can't find yourself.
>When you can keep up with the Kardashians but not yourself.
>When the only ex you have is your Xbox.
>When you're good at drawing but can't draw a life plan.
>When you can come up with a winning strategy but not a career plan.
>When you can give advice but can't even take them.
Feel free to add your own! I came up with most of these while some are from my friends Grim and Sipow.
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And this all started because of one joke last night...
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Heavy> When your gun is straighter than you
Spy> When you're a spy for a living, yet others do it better
Pyro, When you can light other people on fire, but you still are the one to get roasted
Micspammers: >When you have the balls to yell into your mic but can't even talk to a real woman.
When you can level up a strange weapon but not your sex appeal.
When you understand TF2's trading system but not your girlfriend
When demoman can drink his problems away all he wants but you would get poisioning
When the demoman can make a better mix tape then you.
When the spy can find out your girl is cheating on you quicker than you
When the engi can build solutions to more problems than you
When the soldier can soar higher than your future
When the sniper can find more holes in your stories better than a prosecutor
When you can set people ablaze but not your marrage
Rocket Jump Solider: When your angry but can't hurt anyone
When your K:D is higher than your bank account
When a players ping is higher than your IQ
When the scout is better at picking up women than you
When the scout has more food to eat than you
When the scout tosses mad milk at you but it is sticky
When the rocket jumper does more damage than your insults
When the pyro does better killing an enemy behind the back than spy
When an invis spy is noticed more than terms and conditions
Hades
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When you use the boxtrot to hide your shame.
When you can conga the pain away.
When Soldier's Fubare Fanfare describes your social life.
When your Katana collection is the only thing that can save you. (Half Zatochi)
When firing people is the only way to be happy. (Pyro)
When quiting the game is easier than quiting life.
When you can feign your death, but not the sadness away. (Spy)
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When your soul is emptier than your fridge.
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When you try to make a forced joke but end up being unfunny and unoriginal.
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when you can afford virtual hats but not afford a life
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>When your chances of getting hat drops are higher than your chances at a good life.