Hello, uh... So, I have this fedora fetish problem... And uh.. I just can't stop buying them... like you know? Whenever someone mentions a fedora I just have an urge to scream, "DID SOMEONE SAY FEDORA?" It's an issue. I also hear them... say things to me... Like they all have different voices. They scream to me in my sleep. I just don't know... "Murder your family." "Buy more of us." "Build a wal-*cough* Sorry about that. *Ehem* "Build an army." These are just examples of the things I hear. One of my Fedoras in my vast collection even had an affair with me.
So please, just tell me... What's wrong with me?